Buildings - seen from the half side

4 am. tired, not able to sleep, full of thoughts and empty on right decisions...

To create something, you first need to set its foundation and build it up stone by stone. Well, when you are just an amateur constructor, you may place some stones wrong from time to time. If you let them so and continuing on placing stone over stone, your construction will fall down soon due to wrong distributed weight. Well, if you care of your building, you will find a way to change this wrong stone - whether its form, its position, rotation and keep on building up a solid construction. You are the happiest person on earth when you finally found out that you have actually finished your building. Cool, here comes the best part: as many professional constructors will say: it is just the time you start to care of the building. You have to look after it, whether there are some repairs needed, if the roof is soaking, to clean the windows regularly... if you refuse to do so and just keep relying on the idea that your building will stand there for ages, you will find it cobwebbed and discover it as an ugly and a bit useless place soon...



Looking at the small lego constructions on the shelf... one year without rubbing away the dust on them... I always wanted to take care of them. Wasnt able to be there when they were stuck in the dust. I love them and I hope that they still remember me.

Taking a deep breath... A small castle in my hand. Many memories back. Smile. Happy to see its many doors, lockers... Getting the dust away, just with a small movement.
Bright smile :) Ahh, looks as fantastic as I remember it :) I open its door and walk through the colourful corridors and the castle tells me its fairy tales, explains about the giants it was fighting with, the moments where there was no light inside and noone holding a candle... "I am here again, my castle. And I am here for you..."

The high blue tower. Ahh, I love it so much! I remember placing every single stone in it. And it grew, and grew, and grew... It looks pretty fancy. I am quite careful. Tenderly getting my fingers along its constructure till it is finally polished and glittering again. I noticed that its roof is a bit ruined. And I promised it to build it higher when I come back. So I have to be very careful now. I mean, it is a special lego - if you place something wrong now, it will fall from very high. And the damages will be huger. No, I dont want it to happen.

And here is my small cottage. I couldnt finish it before I left. So, it looks quite strange now - the first floor is ready, and half of the second as well. Though the dust on it managed to find place in every single corner. Hmm, how to get it away? I am trying with my fingers again, than with the sleeve of my blouse... Ouch, this was a wrong decision. I even put the dust deeper into its walls. Trying again. Gosh, it is hard. Getting nervous. Getting desperate. "Cottage, I need your help... Can you please help me?... Do you hear me..." Dont know what to do. I want to see its coziness again, the warmth in the chimney. I am thirsty for it... Trying again. No, I have to avoid pressure or I will break the walls! Dont know what to do... I put it back on the shelf. What should I do? Trying to relax. I will come back on it again - I have invested too much material and efforts in this building to just let it so...

Tired. But happy - there are many renovations waiting for me. So looking forward - to painting walls in brighter colours, to putting more pictures on them, to change surroundings in order to provide my buildings with better views...
Happy to be home again somehow...

Too random :)

Boring classes help your creativity :P So, still something positive in them :)
Good friends and similar minds help you develop ideas :)

Bulgarian Students Day: 8.12. For second year in a row - happy to selebrate it somewhere else :)
Vienna, Praha, I am coming :) :) :)

Thank you, Marc and Blago :)
And yes - Skyeurope.com :)

Love you, Marc!!!
Maybe one from the most amazing people I have ever met in life! So happy to know you and ... looking forward to our plans ;) Happy, happy, happy!! You made my day!!!

Updates

Updates, updates, updaaates...
Ok, I guess long time without a post now... Frankly, I wasnt exactly in the mood and there was some self reflection in the last weeks which is not ready to be posted yet... ;)

So, what is going on in my life:

@LIS - I just came back from the local induction seminar of the new members of my LC Sofia... Well, after rejecting few times the kindly invitations to apply as delegates, I was involved in a session called "I am an AIESECer". Ok, as I really love the idea of the whole initiative, the EB managed to buy me over for it :P Pretty nice feeling indeed - seeing a lot of excitement brought me back to memories 2years ago... It was a lot of sharing, many questions, feelings overwhelming people, eagerness...
And of course, showing again who knows the most @ dances (thank you, Kenneth, for the refreshments during TTaT :P). Catching up with some alumni, remembering old games and enjoying wonderful conference spirit...

University life - no matter whether you believe it or not, but I am more than a student example right now ;) The reason behind - I guess much more the willingness to finish asap with the sometimes pointless subjects I have in university in order to use my time the best... I definitely had many problems with integration back in university life in Bulgaria... Not that they are over now, I am just trying to do my best... even if it means to switch off my brain quite often during lectures... I have at about 120new colleagues (or something like this), some of them familiar already...
And guess what - I am studying French again :P Though 1 year in Switzerland didnt bring too much in this direction (because of my laziness and fear to speak the language, I guess), I hope that this time it will I will be speaking some more francais soon ;)

Job hunter - yes, you read right ;) So, as I decided to (take a) break from @ active life, I am happy to be a job hunter now ;) Unfortunately, Bulgarian working market for students who want to work part-time is far away from I would like it to be... most of the jobs are in gastronomy, call centers, secretary sh** - and unfortunately, many well-educated and intelligent students work in this area...
As I care about what I want to work and on which price, I am quite picky... I had some up-downs and a lot of discussions with friends how quality work in Bulgaria is paid... well, I know my price and insist on working an interesting, challenging, responsible work in an area I want and with the appropriate recognition.
Unfortunately, many students in the BG society consider such meaning for more than cheekily... which leads, of course, to outrage from employers and underestimation of student labour.
I guess a lot of time will pass by before most people understand their potential and start appreciating it.
No matter all the negatives toward my expectations, my job hunting is going on pretty well :)
2 applications, 3 interviews so far. Both jobs in Project Management and Consulting area, yey :)

Still quite difficult to decide what to do...
1. option: SME working with EU fonds and projects. They expect me to be a Project Manager of 2 similar projects. Interview was pretty ok - I got a note 6+ (BG maximum: 6). The problem - they prefer a full-time employee and I got the feeling that there is much more translator and communication work than real project work. Additionally, they plan to recruit a person to work for at least 2 years (!!!) for them... I was thinking of rejecting this offer, if they really want to give me the job.
The difficult part: thanks to beloved google I found out that the person who will be my direct boss and somehow mentor has a huuuge (I mean huuge) CV, a lot of international backgrounds and I guess I will be able to learn a lot from him?! And they are calling me for an answer tmrw...

2.option: world-wide well-known consulting company. I had a tests round already, and an ok-interview as well. I explained my interests in strategic consultancy and HR consultancy... They seem to work quite internationally, even in Bulgaria, high expectations and an interesting traineeship program which will end in June.
As you might guess, this was "my job" at the beginning. Though didnt like the assessors on my interview - quite rude attitude and somehow the recruiting lady wasnt exactly taking care of our talk and even asked me the same question about my CV twice. So, it made me think what to do if the call me for a second interview this week...

Life - happy and strange at the same time. My brother visited me for few days and it was a nice time catching up with him :) I missed out discussions and time together. He is leaving for India in 2 weeks (...) and is coming back in 6 months or... 2years and a half... I am having a small cozy vacation with my family this week :) Happy - meeting my friends, going out together.

And the best news from the last 2weeks: One of my best friends and ex-roommate is getting married in a month!!!!! :) :) :) And guess who is the bridesmaid :))))

Strange - still feeling not that exactly back yet... Facing the reality and many changes... Missing some of my friends, although they are here now... It seems that we all changed a lot and some things are different. Yes, it hurts, especially when you feel stuck and not able to influence it somehow... People are too focused on work and let a lot of their lives just passing by - something that I dislike... and not being able or better said heart when pointing out some obvious truths. Or maybe just have to understand that no matter how I want to help friends avoiding some mistakes I have done, I cannot really influence the process... Should I stop bothering myself?
Disappointed sometimes... not knowing from who...

EnterCEE conference - oh, yes, yes, finally got to the point :P :P This was suposed to be my bye from active @work. The conference was... hmm, nice, exhausting, challenging, bringing me a lot out of my comfort zone and even out of my panic zone (when the learning zone is in the middle, what is coming after?), but also interesting time with people from 16 CEE countries, pleasant chats after the conference, a lot of DJ, finance, embassy-related, communication, coordination, all day and night long work... But at the end, as always, it was more than worth ;)

Ok, done! Wow, you are amazing for having read so long :P Miss you all...

One year

One year has mostly 365 days. 365 days to learn how to live, to explorer, find friends, live your dreams, discover new dreams, fall in love, care about people, find your balance, think about thinking...
Exactly 365 days ago I came in St.Gallen, Switzerland... :)

Amazing...
This blog waits for so long to be written.
I wanted to say "thank you" to many of you - for being part of my life during this one year, for letting me be part of your lives... for all the hugs, challenges, midnight conversations, cherishing, caring, chatting, loving, missing, thinking...
I wanted to post as many pictures as possible to paint somehow the previous 365 days...
I wanted... but words and pictures could not express even 5% of this magic...

I often think what made this year so life-changing. And I do not say it so, dear @ers, because you are used to hear it so. It really was.

On first place, I guess there were the expectations: to live 100%, to get to know people, culture, country without any prejudges. To feel, trust, care, study, live differently - 100%.
Of course - easy to be said, not that easy to be done ;) Many of you know about my "tough moments" in Switzerland, many of you were next to me in these days...

Thanks to MAPOW, I was independent to go, study, work, travel, party wherever and however I wanted to.
I tried to get to know people really (and if you know Switzerland, you know how difficult task this could be :P), to refract good life ideas and ways I see into my life and show people diffent sides of life... To discover more about myself and others through interaction, living together, working together, being together...

I had some of the most happiest and balanced moments in my life during this one year. I had my first real cultural shock, real job, conscious responsibilities toward another country, internationalism as daily life...
I learn to distinguish different kinds of cheese, to be on time, to be self-controlling, to laugh even if I want to cry...

Thank you my dear Marc, Tim, Diane, Vlad, Stef and Leo for living together :) I learned a lot from you!

Thank you my MAPOW team and MAPOWski friends - Mario, Emilie, Antonin, Christian, Johann; Anja, Lana, Branka, Baha, Alex, Oana, Mashinka - for the whole adventure!! For the friendship and trust!

Thank you Slavena, Yavorski, Eli, Ivan, Meto - for keeping my Bulgarian spirit (and language :P) through these days ;)
Thank you Berti, Jasper, Claudia, Julia, Marc for believing in me from the very first beginning!
Thank you Yuliya, Clo, Phillip, Kathrin, Marcelo, Pipo, Michi, Michel, Christine, Jan, Sveta for the nice time in @SG

Thank you Lena, Peter, Fabo, Carissa, Sarita, Regi, Chris, Cileia, Pascale, Simon, Christina, Jih-Ming, Marcel, Simone, Ivo - for being such insiping @ers and caring people :)

Thank you University of St.Gallen to showing me a different university flavor and meeting me with Michi, Felix, Marica, Matthias, Bella, Patrick, Tobi, amazing professors...

Thank you Marcel, Raphi, Gerd, Andreas, Marco, Markus, Michael, Daniela, Gisela, Nina - for being such amazing colleagues and teachers!!!


I know that these 365 will never repeat. And that´s the greatness of life - there will be another days to bring us together again, to build over what we had so far, to be there!!!

Thank you for teaching me how to live ;)

06.11.07
Sofia, Bulgaria

One person thinks of you. Right now!

Go explore :)

These are some mobile pictures from Sofia from the last 24h...
I do not love this city yet, though there are always nice places to fall in love with or to be able to see them from a different perspective.

To one explorer - for being such one ;)



Narodno subranie Square (infront of the parliament) - everyone waiting for Sarcozy to pass by car




The most amazing discovery - 8.30h today...



Amazed by the secrets of the city, trying to find out some old, forgotten stories... and ready to discover more ;)

Enjoy life

What do I need to be in that typical smiling mood?
Just some sun, moving to somewhere and of course - some free minutes.

I rewarded myself today :)
I was on the way to nowhere in Sofia, to take a bill for EnterCEE Co and decided to use the good weather.
According to my mum, my parents have sung too often one song to me when I was a child. I still dont know the name, though some phrases of it: "I am going the way my eyes look at, without a compass or a particular direction..."
So, yes, I was random today :) Got out of the bus few stops earlier to explorer Sofia. Just wearing my huge smile :) Going through beloved places, drinking a hot chocolate on the road, being so damn calm...
..and I was thinking...
How much does it cost to be positive? Just positive - only because you are alive.
How much does it take to get some free time just for walking around and enjoying the streets, reading signs, looking at the people around? Just feeling life...
It gives you so much energy! It makes you so refreshed, happy...

I dream about the time when people will live more airily.
Of course, we will always have our concerns. Yes, there will be always traffic jams, angry people, problems with your internet connection...

And so what?

A friend asked me few days ago how do I keep my positivism...
My secret: you have to find your way :) The way to start looking at the bright side of life... the way to stop worrying for small things... the way to stop overworking when it is not absolutely necessary...the ability to say "not a big deal" even if it is hard...

I wanted to write a blog about my Switzerland. Exactly 1 year ago I left.
But there is something else I want to share with you...
...what I learnt during all these months in Germany in Switzerland... when sometimes the only person I could rely on was myself...exactly during those hard moments when you barely see the exit...

Enjoy life - you have it only now! :)
Spend time with your family - they deserve it!
Spend time with your friends and sometimes with random people - it gives a lot of inspiration and good mood :)
Step out of the daily routine and work during your free time and weekends - no better way to assess what is going on, how to keep on and most important - to be able to laugh at the problems :)
Be explorer, adventurer, hiker, the crazy person around :)
Be yourself ;)

I wish you all a great and interesting weekend :)